Work it Mumma! (Finding the balance.)

by Michelle Bell March 28, 2018

Life balance is something that has been coming up a lot for the DeFuze team lately. We are three very different women, with different hopes, dreams, aspirations, and very different home lives.

Between the three of us we have 8 kids. I’ll point out that two of us have 2 children. So yes, one of us has FOUR! I’ll let that sink in...

2 of our families are FIFO. 1 of our families are moving house (Me!!). We all have support from our villages, but we all forget to ask for help. We are strong, spirited women with a passion for community.

And we are each struggling to find this thing they call balance.

We have tried getting up at 5am.
We have tried staying up till midnight.
We have tried giving ourselves designated days to work.
We have tried exercising from home.
We have tried not working after 5pm.
We have tried to lock in date nights.

Have

Tried

All.

And yet we still struggle…

Mostly we just get by. Our ‘to do’ list grows bigger, our houses get messier and our wine glasses are more full. Our parenting has changed, and so have our children. Just when we think we have it sorted, something else is thrown in the mix. And we are left wondering what we will do next.

This is so common.

Most women will struggle with this eternal need to ‘Do it All’. And many of us will be left wondering what we missed. Did we miss our kids, our chance to have kids (more kids?), our chance at love, or a great career? How can we be happy and skinny and successful all at once?? How can we keep our lovers, our mothers and our bosses happy? Will the guilt of what I ate, what I said, what I didn’t do, take over my dreams and leave me exhausted for yet another day?

It is never ending.

And yet somehow we must find this balance. We act like the balance is needed for everyone else to cope, but the reality is we are drowning, and we are desperate for air.

It is engrained within us that we MUST be able to do it all, and to do it with a smile.

But you know what?
Crying in the shower is also acceptable.
So is chocolate cake and coffee with your bestie.
Or sex with a lover under the moonlight.

Because we are but mere amazing humans.
And Wonder Woman was a rich white man’s fantasy.